I am wondering about this new year. Who I am now. Who I want to become.
I was thinking that I want self care to be a big part of this year. In the past, my self care has consisted of things like resting when I needed to rest, eating when I was hungry, taking a shower when I needed to shower, taking medicine when I needed it.
These are all basics things. The bottom of the hierarchy of needs. I need more.
This year I want to focus on doing things. Not to overwhelm myself, but to get up and get moving and get things done. I want to accomplish things this year. Step by step, day by day, week by week.
I have been cleaning today since Ryan went to work. I still have more left to do tonight that I want to accomplish, but so far I have put away 2 out of 3 loads of laundry, straightened and updated my bookshelf, tidied and organized parts of the kitchen, and unloaded the huge box of food my mom sent me for Christmas. It's a couple of small tasks, but I feel so productive and so proud of myself.
This year, I want to focus a lot more on the self care of taking care of my house and myself. I want a clean house because I feel better in a clean house. Ryan feels better in a clean house. A clean house is a nice house.
I want to take care of my body, too. I ate a lot of food that wasn't good for my body this past year and my body has suffered for it. I want my body to feel better. I want to feel better. I've set kind of a mental goal that I want to lose 50lbs by December. I think I want to set up a plan with check points. By this date I want to have lost this much; by this date I want to be able to run this long. I want to know where I'm going so that I can figure out how to get there.
More than anything, I want to enjoy this process. I don't want to pull my own teeth taking care of myself. I know there will be days when it's just UGH because that's just a part of life. But I want to teach myself to keep going even when I don't feel like it. I want to prove to myself that I can keep going.
This is just a long ramble.
