Poetry Presents: Poem and Response

"Tumble out of bed
just as the sun crests the horizon.
Hobble over to the window.
Squint through the blinds.
Tug them apart, gently.
Let the light pour over you,
warm your cheeks, kiss your lashes, breathe
new air into your lungs;
scrub you, for a moment, clean.

-There's a new dawn every day. Hold on."
-S.S.

A response:

Clean is more than a word,
more than a description
of how far away from dirty we are.
Clean is a feeling.
New. Bright. Fresh.
Nothing clean is ever dirty;
don't doubt yourself.

-You deserve the happiness you want for yourself.

Writing Presents: PUBLISHED

I published my first online article for an actual publication today!

I wrote a short piece about interacting with someone that's schizophrenic.

You can find it here.

My friend, Ben, shared it and commented that it was one of the "strongest, bravest things" he's ever seen a student do.

I don't really feel brave publishing this. I feel very much afraid. This is kind of a coming out for me, about my mental illness. Not many people know that I am schizoaffective, and now I've told a part of the internet that people are actually going to see.

Perhaps in facing my fear of judgment and ridicule, I'm a little bit brave after all?

Poetry Presents: I Can Be As Healthy As I Want, But I Will Still Be Sick

My eyes say one thing

My ears say another

How long will I suffer

Living in one body,

Split between two realities?

I think I need some water

But being hydrated won't tell me what's real

And what's not

Writing Presents: Articles for the Odyssey

So, a few weeks ago, I sent in an interest request to write for an online publication called The Odyssey. I see lots of their articles on Facebook about lots of different things, so I figured, why not give it a shot?

I forgot about it, then this past Tuesday I get a text from the Editor in Chief of the Georgia Southern community. We talked for a few minutes, and she decided that I would be a good addition to the team.

I wrote my first article. It will be published soon, for the entire internet to see, though, I'm not sure exactly how soon. It was due today, so it'll be up soon. I'll post a link here.

My first article is me stepping forward about my mental illness. It's me saying, "I have schizophrenia and that's okay." I'm nervous for it to be published to Facebook, because that's about 400 people that can see it. Not all 400 will read it, of course, but at least a few will see it.

I will still be writing more personally here, though, but I will also be posting the things I'm writing for The Odyssey.

This is an exciting time for me. I'm getting to write more publicly about anything I please. I think I'd like to write more about mental illness and body positivity, especially in relation to my life. I might even have an impact on someone. That person might even me myself.

Swimming Presents: PEACE

The water was as warm as spring. It was water drawn for a bath. I dived into it, washing away everything sad. It washed away everything terrifying and everything angry and everything painful.

I turned over onto my back. I wiped my eyes. The lights in the pool made some light, which made the sky harder to see, but I could still see some stars--and, of course, the moon.

I let the water around my ears drown out all the extra noise.

I simply was.

Words from a Friend Presents: More Words from Me

I have a friend that today shared her blog with me, sharing parts of herself with me.

She wrote the following.

"A fear.

I am defective 

Because (?)

I wear glasses. 

A rebuttal.

Glasses are not uncommon. My vision just isn't focused on my retina well.


But.. You're built wrong. Genetically. 


A rebuttal.
Correlation does not equal causation.
If there was a random sampling giving every one on Earth an equal likelihood of having deficits (50/50 chance of boy or girl, whatever other 1/something chance of defects), then I am not Less Than. I am one of many whose chances just gave me what I have. A need for glasses.


Well Reasoned. "

I read this and I felt relief. I am not Less Than for having a mental illness. I am not less of a person, less of a friend, or less of a daughter for having a mental illness.

"I am one of many whose chances just gave me what I have."

I am not undeserving of love, support, or help because of these chances.

I keep thinking of my mental illness as a bad thing, and in some ways, it really is. My life is a lot harder and more complicated because of it. Perhaps if I stop thinking about it, though, as a bad thing and more of just a thing that happened. Things happen to people all the time and this is just one of those things that happened to me.